last week, i went on this roller coaster ride through extreme emotions that surprised even myself. i thought i was feeling better. instead, i found that the melancholy had been replaced by bitterness, and sometimes fury.
in a perfect world [for me], every person is kind, polite, and uncomplicated. sensitive and attentive to detail. sympathetic. and wise. instead of love or friendship or support, i was looking for the holy grail. i've been irritable, and i can't seem to let a single thing go. i pored over every word said to me, looking for their intent. perhaps i was looking for evidence that i was wronged somehow. an excuse to get really angry.